The Hip-Hop Phonetic Alphabet – The Greatest Invention of Our Time
I love the phonetic alphabet. I can communicate clearly and pretend to be a bad-ass cop all whilst renewing my home insurance. But something strange is happening. The phonetic alphabet that we all know and love just isn’t universal anymore.
‘Your postcode sir’ they say.
‘Sierra Whiskey Nineteen’ I reply.
‘So that’s C W nineteen…’
‘No, how did you get that?’
‘C for Ciara…’
‘No, no, S for Sierra…not Ciara….she’s a hip-hop artist….’
This has happened to me at least twice so I can only conclude that it happens to everyone all the time and that something must be done!
Wouldn’t it be so much clearer if you could just call up your bank and say:
‘Solid Gold Dancer – Woop Woop, that’s da’ sound of da’ police! – nineteen’.
Everyone can understand that.
And so, without further ado, I present to you, the new phonetic alphabet, the Hip-Hop Phonetic Alphabet!
A for ‘The adventures of Grandmaster Flash.’
B for Bitch get outta’ the car!
C for Cyprus Hill, or of course, the classic, C for Ciara.
D for DJ, as in, ‘What the hell happened to DJ Jazzy Jeff?’
E for Explicit Lyrics.
F for Fiddy
G for G-unit……. or of course, Grandmaster Flash!
H for Homey, as in, ‘What is up my homey?’
I for ‘I’ve got the power!’
J for Junk, as in, ‘What ya’ gonna’ do with all that Junk inside your trunk.’ [nb. it is customary for the recipient to reply with ‘I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my humps.’
K for Kane ,as in, ‘Big Daddy Kane.’
L for LL Cool Jay
M for Milkshake, as in, ‘My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…..’
N for Notorious BIG
O for Original Gangsta’
P for ‘Pop a cap in yo’ ass!’
Q for Queen Latifah, as in, ‘Yes Queen Latifah is Hip-Hop’
R for Run DMC
S for Solid Gold Dancer [insert mandatory dancing move]
T for Tupac
U for Ultramagnetic MCs (Yes they exist – Do you remember the old gang? Kool Keith, Ced Gee, TR Love and Moe Love. Oh and let’s not forget Tim Dog )
V for Vanilla Ice!
W for ‘Woop woop, that’s the sound of da’ police!’
X for DMX
Y for Yo, as in, ‘Yo!’
And of course….
Z, as in, spelling things with a Z instead of an S because it’s cool and also badass.
Try it now!!!